How to Finally Lose It, Hak-Style
by Lexiconiful
Summary: This shares the internal monologue of Hak and Yona during the incredibly epic scene (you know the one) during chapter 175. SPOILER ALERT. This is sweet and fluffy and feel-good. I do not own Akatsuki No Yona or it's characters.
1. Chapter 1

"... I'm fine."

Even without opening his eyes, Hak could feel the princess' anxiety. But he really would be fine.

Because she was here; alive, safe, and with that indominable spirit that he loved unbroken.

"Just…", he gave a small, relieved sigh and held back a wince. "need a moment."

Hak heard her whisper his name again, then opened his eyes at the sound of her stepping away. He watched her stagger with each step and gritted his teeth at the bloody footsteps and small drops of red marking her passage as she moved further down the hallway.

She'd never bleed like that again. He'd see to it even if he had to kill every Kuel-Bo in the world.

He opened his mouth to tell her to stay away from the windows since there still might be active archers, but his voice caught as the clouds moved and sunlight speared down the hallway and set her hair on fire.

He might have imagined it, he tried to reason with himself, his chest hurting in a way that had nothing to do with his injuries. He'd had quite a tiring, painful day that involved not a little blood loss. He'd also suffered from audio hallucinations in the past; hearing her say that she wanted to touch him. But this…, he watched her kneel by large vases and work the lid off, that "I love you" had been whispered in a dry, smoke-roughened voice that he'd never heard from her before. He might have imagined it, except when she woke up and looked at him with those large, teary eyes, that same raspy voice had echoed the phrase he'd be been chanting in his head since he'd found her in the keep; "I finally get to see you."

He'd storm a thousand keeps in order to see that look on her face. To hear those words. Those words that would keep him standing, keep him moving, keep him fighting until she was safe.

As though in a daze, he watched her cup her hands and saw the water trickle through her small hands to the floor. He didn't notice the soot, the dirt, or the tangles of her hair. He'd seen her in pristine and perfumed, in the richest fabrics and adornments that money could buy, and he'd seen her in bloodied, filthy rags. She always looked the same to him.

Absolutely beautiful.

The princess looked back at him and the look on her face, a mix of worry and fear, knocked some sense into him.

What was he doing, he snarled at himself. He couldn't think about this now. She wasn't safe yet. They were still in the enemy's territory and the dragons weren't here to watch over Princess Yona or to help him fight.

Hak took a slow, careful breath and used all the tricks that his Grandfather, the military, and Soo W… that he'd learned through years to block pain, gain strength, and keep his mental focus on the task at hand. Then he used the discipline he'd honed for nearly a half a decade, the same control that had kept him from kissing the breath from her the instant he'd found her, to pull his thoughts from words of love and impossible daydreams.

He was doing a good enough job that this time when the light from the windows caught on her hair as she hurried back to where he was still propped against the wall, his first thought was of safety and tactics.

And not on how her hair would feel in hands.

"Princess…", he tried for a stern look, "stay away from…". His words trailed off at the touch of her hands on his jaw, his thoughts splintering as she closed her eyes and leaned down.

Hak's mind immediately went back to Ogi's office where she'd grabbed his cloak and pulled him down for a 'greeting', as she'd later put it. What was she…was she going to…?

Her lips closed over his and understanding swept in along with the water. She wasn't kissing him. Princess Yona, bruised and bleeding, was trying to help him. Take care of him, when he was here to help her. Serve her. He swallowed the water absently; eyes still open and on her face. Her eyes were still closed in concentration, but the small hands, soft in places, but rough with callouses in others, were gentle on his face. They slid off as she raised her head and all the barriers on his emotions, all his restraints, left with them.

The roar in his ears drowned out the sound of the fire, the sound of the army still outside of the walls, everything.

He couldn't stand it.

Without thought, his hands came up and clenched in her hair, keeping her from moving away. Her eyes popped open in surprise, but with no fear, and that snapped the last thread of his control.

Hak didn't jerk her to him. He didn't pull her hair. He just held her still as he gave up years of discipline and closed his mouth over hers in a kiss he'd told himself would never happen.

All his fatigue and pain seemed to slide away as he held her still. He felt the sound she made against his mouth and his hands gentled in her hair, the hard press of lips softened as the taste of her, the smell, the feel of her seeped into his very bones and soothed the beast of need and want he'd lived with forever.

Yona raised her head with a gasp and he reveled in the flush that spread over her face. He'd always loved it when she blushed.

"Wai…," she gasped again, breathless, and her next words made him realize that she wasn't aware of what he'd just done. "There's no more…," she swallowed as his fingers combed through her hair, his fingertips softly grazing her ear and neck. "wat…".

She was so innocent, he thought. So pure. But that wasn't going to stop him.

"…". Hak slid his hand to the back of her neck and brought her closer, basking in her blush, the feel of her hand on his shoulder, and the way she closed her eyes as he leaned towards her. "It's 'cause your mouth is so small," he played along, murmuring against her lips. He brushed his against hers and told her the simple truth. "It's not enough." And kissed her again.


	2. Chapter 2

The water from the jar was lukewarm, but it still felt cool on Yona's smoke-roughened throat.

Now to get it to Hak. She looked around, but all she saw were more jars. They had probably stockpiled these in places around the keep for the soldiers or in preparation for a siege. There's no ladle…, the anxious thought lasted for just a second before she simply cupped her hands and dipped them into the water.

She stood up and took a step, then watched helplessly as the movement caused the water to dribble out of her hands. By the time she made it back to Hak there wouldn't be any water left for him to drink.

Yona looked back to Hak and felt her heart squeeze with worry and fear. When he'd stumbled and let her go, she'd been shocked at all of the the blood, the cuts, and burns. He looked so hurt. So tired and almost fragile propped up against the wall.

He looked like this because of her. He'd come so far, been through so much, and pushed his limits, for her.

Feeling desperate, she gulped as much water as she could and prayed she didn't cough. She dashed back down the hallway.

"Princess…," Hak took an obviously painful breath, "stay away from…".

Yona barely heard him, she was so focused on her task. She wasn't a man or a dragon, so she couldn't carry him, even if her legs weren't injured. She wasn't Yoon, who would could use his skill and knowledge do something about his injuries. There wasn't anyone else around, so she couldn't protect him from enemies. The only she could do right now was this.

She couldn't speak, so she simply placed her hands on his jaws and tipped his head up. He was so tall that even sitting down, she didn't have to tilt it far. She closed her eyes in order to concentrate, vaguely noting that his words had trailed off, then touched her lips to his.

His mouth was barely open, so she tilted her head in order to form a seal, then opened her lips.. The water flowed from her mouth to his and she wanted to cheer and weep at the same time. The water she'd sipped had felt so good on her sore throat. She prayed this would help him, sooth him, make him feel better, even if it was just a little bit.

He was so still that she had a moment of worry, then she felt his throat move as he swallowed. It worked. Yona raised her head and the last little bit of water dripped down their chins. This wasn't the best way, she thought, her mind already wondering how fast she could get another mouthful to bring back to him. But it was all she had. She dropped her hands with a breath of relief and started to stand up, only to stop as Hak's hand gripped her hair, holding her in place.

She opened her eyes in surprise and had a moment, a bare instant in time, to see Hak's face contort with some fierce emotion before he closed the short distance and brought their lips back together.

Her eyes closed with a snap. She tried to say his name, "...Mmph." But he was holding her too close, his head tilting to better fit his mouth to hers, like she had done a moment ago.

She'd been so frantic to get him some water that she hadn't thought much about the process. It...it felt like a kiss. She could feel her face flush, even though she knew he was just thirsty. She'd seen the same desperation in injured soldiers when she'd helped the injured in the Fire Tribe and with the pirates. Sometimes they'd grab her hand along with the cup of water and she'd just stay there, caught until the cup was empty or they'd slaked their thirst. She relaxed against Hak's hold, hoping to sooth his urgency. He must be really thirsty.

"

Despite the reality of the situation, the nearness and the...the taste of Hak mixed with her emotions to make her head start to swim, her heart start to race.

Hak raised his head, but didn't let go her hair. "Wai…," She tried not to gasp for breath, but her words still came out in stuttered fits as Hak's eyes, somehow heavy and serious, but no longer fierce, met hers. "There's no more…," she swallowed as his large fingers combed through her hair, his fingertips softly grazing her ear and neck. She put her hand on his shoulder, her fingers fluttering on the fabric, but unable to push away. "Wat…".

He paused for just a moment, but she could tell she wasn't getting through to him when his hand slid to the back of her head and clenched her hair in his fist. She closed her eyes in self-defense as moved even closer. Her pulse roaring in her ears and her breath stilled as he murmured against her lips, "It's 'cause your mouth is so small." He brushed his lips against hers and she couldn't help but clutch at the bloodied fabric of his robe. "It's not enough."

She loved him so much. She'd been so worried and scared, and having here, even if they weren't out of danger yet, made her want to savor every single moment.

Hak's hand closed around the nape of her neck in a hold so gentle that it made tears spring to her eyes. Even when he was hurt, slightly delirious, he was so gentle with. Even though she had nothing to give him now, his lips moved against her so softly, like they were trying to entice her to give him more water. It made her knees weak. Her head swim.

Yona jerked her head to the side as her lungs finally protest the lack of air and sent her into a coughing fit. Her knees had already been weak, but now she dropped down until she was kneeling in front of Hak. She still felt dizzy, but Hak seemed to be better now. He kept his face close to hers in obvious worry. She kept her eyes closed, her head down, and simply breathed, hoping that he wouldn't see the tears finishing their tracks down her face.

"Princ…".

He stopped and they both looked back and saw smoke, heard the crackle as fire spread through the keep and closer to their location.

Yona coughed again. "Smoke…".

**Thanks for reading! If you like it, please leave a review. I'll keep writing the internal monologues as the real story progresses and we keep getting epic scenes like these!**


End file.
